Should a christian date a non-christian?

In a world which tells us follow our own heart, do what you want to do, pursue who you want to pursue,  surely we can date whoever we want? No restrictions? In this video we clarify...

Timecodes:

0:00 - Intro
0:58 - Why is this a topic we need to discuss?
2:08 - Verses of scripture that speak to this topic
6:41 - 3 helpful analogies
8:44 - Conclusion

Music by
Over the limits
Vernacolmusic

Chapters

• 0:00 Intro
• 0:58 Why is this a topic we need to discuss?
• 2:08 Verses of scripture that speak to this topic
• 6:41 3 helpful analogies
• 8:44 Conclusion

Transcript

Wildfire podcast is an extension of Wildfire, which has a focus of igniting men and women of God into a deeper discipleship with Christ, instilling people with a passion to radically and relentlessly pursue Christ wherever that leads.

That God's truth will spread like a wildfire.

Mark, hey, how's it going?

You doing all right, how are you?

Come here, come here.

Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah.

All good?

Yeah, all good.

Go on in.

Everyone in, go on in.

I was just wondering if we could speak candidly, if that's okay?

Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah, do you have milk?

Yeah.

Enough.

It's up milk.

Yeah.

I'm just wondering if we could talk candidly about a conversation that I think affects so many young people, and that is, should Christians date non-Christians?

Should the follower of Jesus go out with those who are not saved?

So the first question I want to ask you is, why is this actually a topic that we need to even discuss?

You know what I mean?

Why can't we just go out with whoever we want?

Why is this an issue?

Christians on Christians.

I think relationships are something that people strive for, right?

People don't want to be alone, even in friendships, but especially romantic, and the media emphasizes that, and it's a connection we all want.

Emotions get really tricky, and get things really muddled.

I think it comes down to a question of, what's the most important relationship in my life?

And there's going to be things that will wrestle and challenge you on that.

But we have to be reminded as Christians that there's no relationship that compares to the relationship we have with God, and that's why I think this is an important conversation to have.

Our relationship with God is what is of value, and our relationship with God dictates every other relationship.

So we want to go to the Bible and see, what does it say if it has anything to say on this topic?

And that will allow us to, number one, value our relationship with God most.

And whenever we value our relationship with God, then that aligns every other relationship and allows us to value them the most.

Is there any verses of scripture that the Bible talks about this topic?

There are, because you sent me them.

So, did I talk about Candice?

Script it.

So, do you want to read 2 Corinthians 6?

because I think it has something to say on this topic.

And it's quite clear.

Don't team up with those who are unbelievers.

How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness?

How can light live with darkness?

What harmony can there be between Christ and the devil?

How can a believer be a partner with an unbeliever?

I think it's quite clear.

I think it just basically says that you're not to be, I think the original language is you're not to be an equally out, which is actually an agrarian analogy.

It talks about two ox and how they apply a field together.

But if you have a strong ox and a weak ox, they won't be able to accomplish.

And if you have an ox and another creature, like a goat, then you're really in trouble.

And that's what's being illustrated here.

So you've got a follower of Jesus.

They're fit for the task.

But those who are not saved are not.

And they will be able to accomplish the objective.

That is value in the relationship that is with God.

And it's quite clear and explicit that we are called to be light as followers of Jesus.

And those who are not saved are darkness.

And so how can darkness benefit us who are light?

And it can't.

It talks about in James that friendship with the world is hostility towards God.

Okay.

So if you're friends with the world, then James is saying that that's hostility towards God.

You're acting in a hostile manner towards your creator, the father, the one who has saved you and called from darkness into marvelous light.

And by being friends with the world, that's almost a direct confrontation.

And that is you saying that I want to be hostile against you God.

And I can think of no better way of categorizing a friendship or no better deeper intimacy of friendship than a relationship.

Yeah, completely.

So, and I even think of the story of like Jose and Gomer, right?

It's as pretty as the picture is.

We are very much Gomer in that situation.

Constantly running from God, going back to bad habits, going back to things that we think will bring us satisfaction.

But in the end, she's left broken, yet hurt and damaged.

And it's God who is betrayed by Jose in the story, who goes out to those dirty streets, and finds her, and brings her home, and nourishes that relationship.

And she was discarded.

If that doesn't give a clear enough picture of what compromising our relationship with God is, I don't really know how clear it can be.

And it is from a loving tone, right?

This isn't a question of saying, what's right and what's wrong, or what you should do or not do in a legalistic fashion.

It's very much like a loving tone of, hey, I love you so much that my love for you will never fail.

But if we treat that unfeeling love with other things, I think we're going to be disappointed.

because the reality is, there is nothing that can compare to the unfeeling love of God.

And unfortunately, we're stubborn enough, curious enough, to fall in the trap of wanting to learn the hard way.

And that's why I think it's important to just remind ourselves that we have everything we need in the relationship with God.

There's no one that's going to love you more than that.

And that's something you just trust and believe and experience.

So we've highlighted 2nd Corinthians and we've highlighted a passage from James and we've highlighted that story that's presented in his ed.

It talks about compromising relationships and how we're to actually be uncompromising and that God's faithfulness should motivate us to be faithful.

And I think the last passage is Romans 12.

It talks about, do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

The reality is we're not to be conformed to the problems of this world where they say that you can date and have a relationship with anyone you want.

Instead, we're called to look at scripture and it has clear prohibitions of who you can be in a relationship with, because who you're in a relationship with dictates so much.

And so I think the Bible is quite clear when you take those passages that there's a clear decision to be made for those who are in a relationship with a non-Christian and a clear answer for those who are thinking about being in a relationship with a non-Christian.

I just want to share analogies that I think are helpful.

And the Bible talks about how iron sharpens iron.

But if you think of iron being the Christian, and if you date a non-Christian, then they're like wood and you just keep on slicing through them because they have nothing to offer you.

Do you know what I mean?

And then the sword, it starts to become blunt.

So number one, the wood's getting cut.

And it's of no benefit to the wood.

That's non-Christian.

And the sword's getting blunt.

And it's of no benefit to the believer.

And it's literally helping nobody in the relationship.

And that's the whole point of why God has this command in the first place of how we're not to take our salt, take our light, and mix it up with darkness.

And I think another one, it's based on Amos 3.

And it's talking about Israel and this, but I think the principles there that can be applied here, and it's talking two people walk hand in hand if they aren't going to the same place.

So if me and you're holding hands, we're not gonna do that.

And you walk that way and I walk this way, then we're going separate places.

And there's gonna be tension on the relationship, and it may be able to last a month, a year, but at some point, you're gonna notice that you're too far apart to sustain a healthy relationship.

And so for those who are gonna date non-Christians, there's gonna be an inevitable collapse at some point.

And so why go through that pain when you can avoid it?

And the last thing is that in a relationship, you're connected.

And if you have someone who's not spiritually mature or someone who's not there or strong in their faith, because it's not just about Christians and non-Christians, it's about Christians, are you dating those who are of a spiritual maturity that you are?

Yeah.

Okay, because all the same principles that we've talked about apply the same analogy.

So if yous are tied together in a relationship, and I'm running my race for God, and this person's sort of faltering behind and is limping, then I'm just dragging them along and beating them against the ground at a pace that they can't keep up with.

So I think, number one, this is a topic that is widespread.

Why talk about it?

because the Bible talks about it.

God cares about our relationships.

Yeah.

And he has spoken in his word how we can have strong, healthy, and vibrant relationships.

And that's why we went to his word, and we brought up those passages that clearly say that followers of Jesus and non-Christians should not be in a relationship.

And then thirdly, we gave analogies that showcase why that's the case.

It's just logical sense that people of different political and cultural, philosophical, and religious views are going to have tension and arguments.

And that's one category, but there's the other category of the Bible explicitly says, don't do it.

And the Bible says that if you love me, you obey my commands.

Yeah.

And this is a command.

And so if you love God, then are you going to obey it?

Yeah.

Do you have any last remarks that you want to leave people with, that maybe are actually in a relationship right now with a non-Christian, and are going to have to make that decision?

That's one type of people, and the other is people who are thinking about this.

So if you speak to the first category of people, those who are in a relationship, what would you say to them?

Consider mercy to end a relationship where it's at an end, than to end it in a future time.

because as time go on, and you become closer, or worse, maybe there's a wedge between you, it's going to hurt.

And it's just kind of ripping off that band-aid.

But I promise that there's a relationship that we have with God, it's unfeeling and unending.

And consider it a mercy rather than a painful sacrifice, right?

because it's incomparable.

Yeah.

God's commandments necessitate obedience regardless of the ramifications.

But we know that the ramifications are actually going to be a positive one.

because anything from obedience, good things follow from obedience.

And the second category of people, those who are thinking about getting a relationship, what would you say to them?

Get a relationship with a non-Christian.

First of all, don't devalue singleness.

Singleness is a gift, and singleness is underrated.

I feel like sometimes we rush into relationships because we feel that will bring us completeness in life.

So don't be pressured into it.

And if you are in a relationship, it is a question of, do you want God there?

Right?

Even marriage is between man and woman and united under the witness of God.

God said that, right?

And if there's something where two become one.

And as a Christian, the most important relationship in our lives is the one we have with God.